Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
