I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
