Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
