I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
