; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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