I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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