The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
