I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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