You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
