so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
