mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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