Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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