How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
