Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
