Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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