I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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