everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
