the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
