There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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