So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
