So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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