Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
