I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We just shotgunned beers for America
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
