I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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