Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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