Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
then he tried to convert me to islam
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
