Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
two words...techno handjob
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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