so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
