i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
