And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
