and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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