I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
