turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
