I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I didn't notice because vodka
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
