I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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