We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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