Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
