Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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