I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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