the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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