Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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