He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
