Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
