She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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