out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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