Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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