Kiss
Puke
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
