Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
