I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she told me i tasted like america
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
