Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
